I left Burberry right before the pandemic. We drove out to East Hampton to stay there and figure things out. We said, “we’ll see what happens,” and then this happened. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t and I still don’t. From the beginning, I didn’t want to Google anything. I have not ever wanted to know the statistics. I’ve spoken to my doctors about it, and that’s kind of how we approach it. But I never got upset. I never was pissed off or resentful. I just was like, okay, we’re gonna get through this. I’ve always been that person. God’s will, not mine, be done. I literally said that, at the moment the doctor in the ER told me the news, and she was shocked. She was like, “are you sure you’re saying what you want to say?” And I said, yeah, I don’t understand any other way of dealing with this other than let’s get through this, and let’s figure out what’s wrong, and let’s, you know, make the best of it. And making the best of it was just speaking to doctors and figuring out what to do next and fast.
My father was Roman Catholic, my mother’s Roman Catholic, it was not about my religious upbringing—but it was all about my faith in God. At that moment, when the ER doctor told me the news, then it became really real. And I used my belief in God as a way to make sense of all of this. I mean, I have cancer. I’m different than you now, and I only became different on February 21st, when they told me the news. Up until that point, I was living footloose and fancy free and everything was okay.
Now, I have to have a caregiver. I walk slowly. I can go to the gym, but I have to have someone with me. I don’t go out if I’m not with somebody. I’ve gone from no medication to all of these pills. I’m on chemotherapy once a month for a year. Two infusions every three weeks. I go for lab work to check my blood levels once a week. I have MRI scans once a month; I just had one [a couple of Mondays ago], and the results were really good and stable. Justin has an old-school paper calendar that has every doctor’s appointment, every day that I have to take certain and different medications, any plans that I have with friends because corresponding on my own is challenging.